Storytelling, week 4 - Leah and The Prince
Leah and The Prince
Once upon a time lived a prince who was given everything he had ever wanted. His father would say to him, "Prince, you are my son and I have created this kingdom so you can flourish in happiness and satisfaction." The prince was always very thankful for what his father had given to him. The palace where he lived was the most beautiful in all of the land. It contained unlimited food, green landscaping, and people who helped protect and care for him.
One day, the prince felt alone, and requested his father send him a companion. His father granted his wish and brought a beautiful girl named Leah to the palace as a companion for the prince. They were so happy to be together, and they spent their days full of joy and laughter.
The prince's father said to them one day, "Prince, I have given you this glorious land to live in, and these wonderful people to feed you and care for you. This kingdom is yours. However, there is one spot in the basement of the castle where I forbid you to go. The basement contains secrets that no one must ever know."
Leah and the Prince agreed to never enter the basement.
One day, while the two were enjoying themselves in the summer sun that brightly shined into the kingdom, a voice echoed through the air. It was a deep voice, telling the prince and Leah to come near. The two followed the voice until they were standing next to the basement doors. A figure appeared out of the shadows and said, " This basement holds secrets that you must know as a prince. Don't you want to know what your father is hiding?"
"No, we were told not to enter, so I will not enter," said the prince.
"Oh, Leah, this basement holds secrets that you must know as a princess. A true princess should know everything about her kingdom."
Leah agreed with the dark figure, and fell into his temptation. As she entered the basement, she encouraged the prince to go with her, and he followed.
Before the two could learn of the deep secrets that were hidden in the basement, the king bursted into the doors, with a yell that could scare a beast.
"You have disobeyed me!" He shouted, "Now you have broken the only rule I casted upon you. I have given you everything you needed, but you still could not obey."
The King sentenced Leah and the prince away from the castle as a punishment for their disobedience.
The two spend the next fifteen years begging for forgiveness, and finally, after years of sorrow and misery, the king allowed the two back into the kingdom, and forgave them for their wrong doing.
Authors notes: The original story behind this comes from Adam and Eve. They lived happily in the Garden of Eden, until one day when Eve was tempted by Satan to eat the forbidden fruit. God punished them and their disobedience by banning them from the garden. I wanted to keep the same idea of the original, but change the characters and setting to make it my own.
King James Bible (1611): Genesis 3.
Once upon a time lived a prince who was given everything he had ever wanted. His father would say to him, "Prince, you are my son and I have created this kingdom so you can flourish in happiness and satisfaction." The prince was always very thankful for what his father had given to him. The palace where he lived was the most beautiful in all of the land. It contained unlimited food, green landscaping, and people who helped protect and care for him.
One day, the prince felt alone, and requested his father send him a companion. His father granted his wish and brought a beautiful girl named Leah to the palace as a companion for the prince. They were so happy to be together, and they spent their days full of joy and laughter.
The prince's father said to them one day, "Prince, I have given you this glorious land to live in, and these wonderful people to feed you and care for you. This kingdom is yours. However, there is one spot in the basement of the castle where I forbid you to go. The basement contains secrets that no one must ever know."
Leah and the Prince agreed to never enter the basement.
One day, while the two were enjoying themselves in the summer sun that brightly shined into the kingdom, a voice echoed through the air. It was a deep voice, telling the prince and Leah to come near. The two followed the voice until they were standing next to the basement doors. A figure appeared out of the shadows and said, " This basement holds secrets that you must know as a prince. Don't you want to know what your father is hiding?"
"No, we were told not to enter, so I will not enter," said the prince.
"Oh, Leah, this basement holds secrets that you must know as a princess. A true princess should know everything about her kingdom."
Leah agreed with the dark figure, and fell into his temptation. As she entered the basement, she encouraged the prince to go with her, and he followed.
Before the two could learn of the deep secrets that were hidden in the basement, the king bursted into the doors, with a yell that could scare a beast.
"You have disobeyed me!" He shouted, "Now you have broken the only rule I casted upon you. I have given you everything you needed, but you still could not obey."
The King sentenced Leah and the prince away from the castle as a punishment for their disobedience.
The two spend the next fifteen years begging for forgiveness, and finally, after years of sorrow and misery, the king allowed the two back into the kingdom, and forgave them for their wrong doing.
Authors notes: The original story behind this comes from Adam and Eve. They lived happily in the Garden of Eden, until one day when Eve was tempted by Satan to eat the forbidden fruit. God punished them and their disobedience by banning them from the garden. I wanted to keep the same idea of the original, but change the characters and setting to make it my own.
King James Bible (1611): Genesis 3.
the fall
Hi Gracie! This is a really interesting retelling of the story of Adam and Eve. I like the way you put the forbidden thing in the basement of the palace rather than a tree in the garden. It makes it seem more hidden and foreboding, and would probably make the characters event more curious to find out what is being forbidden.
ReplyDeleteHi Gracie! I really like this twist, the reframe of the story to be about a different time and in different context. Your storytelling is good with plenty fo dialogue and exposition. However, I would suggest adding some more description of the castle to really give the story a sense of place. Really good story and a great creative idea.
ReplyDeleteGracie
ReplyDeleteI loved your take on this story! I'm a big fairy tale girl so I liked that your version gave me that feel. The dialogue was a nice touch and it was very easy to follow. I like what Elizabeth said her comment, some more description would be nice. Elaborating on how the castle looks and maybe giving us a glimpse of the riches in the basement before the king barges in would be a really nice touch. Great work!